We all have to work, right? The bills have to be paid.
Life in this modern world costs a lot.
And even if it didn’t cost so much just to live, work would still make up the biggest part of our lives. And whether that’s achieved as a laborer, or as a business owner, work brings our life purpose and meaning.
That said, work can become so overwhelmingly stressful that it costs us our health, sanity and overall well-being.
Being over-stressed from work can cause feelings of loneliness, despair and unhappiness.
But there are simple solutions to managing stress at work, which I’ll dive into here.
First of all, what exactly is stress?
Stress, at its core, is a loss—actual or perceived.
There are several kinds of losses that a person can experience in life:
- Physical
- Emotional
- Mental
- Financial
- Relationship
- Work
It can be the accumulation of many small losses, built up over time, or one really big loss.
But what is a loss? Well, it’s the condition of losing something you once had. It’s having things taken away from you, that you consider dear or valuable. It’s being beaten by those around you in the game of life. It’s not achieving what you set out to achieve.
Stress can even stem from the threat of loss.
If the boss fires somebody in front of you, this could be a threat of loss to you. You could be next in the firing line. Enter: stress.
And seeing as we spend most of our lives at work, it would be useful to know more about managing work stress.
And doing that goes a long way to living a more fulfilled and happy life.
So, read on for my top 8 tips for managing stress at work.
1. It’s really not personal
Stress at work is often borne of conflicts or disagreements with our colleagues, our boss or even our clients. And it’s always a person that really causes stress, not a thing. When was the last time a stapler really made you stressed? More often than not, it’s somebody raining on your parade or doing things that annoy you.
We’ve all experienced some form of hurt feelings from other people’s cynical comments or mean looks. Criticism, snide comments, unfriendly behavior, outright discrimination and/or oppressive control. Bullying in today’s society is very real and every one of us has felt some form of it.
One thing that’s helped me overcome crippling stress at work, was realising that it’s actually not personal. People say things that come across harshly. If you don’t have a thick skin, it can definitely hurt. And for me these little losses added up over time, and after a while, I really couldn’t see the point to working at all.
So, what changed for me? I decided to learn more about people. I did a short course on human emotions and behavioral patterns. And what I figured out from that learning experience, was that most people who are attacking me, are so inside their heads that they don’t even really see me.
Often what a person says when they’re angry or frustrated is utter lies. They’re talking more about themselves than they are about me. And it definitely isn’t personal, even if it looks like it.
If somebody puts me down at work, or belittles my work, I do my best to remind myself that it’s not personal. I ignore it. It’s really not personal.
“My philosophy is: It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am, and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier.”
Sir Anthony Hopkins, Academy Award Winning Actor
2. Only take on what you know you can really handle
Setting yourself up to win by setting achievable targets at work is important. There’s no point burning the candle at both ends and being disappointed in yourself when you don’t achieve your aims.
So, be realistic in setting goals at work and remember to pat yourself on the back when you achieve them and reward yourself when you exceed them.
3. Avoid associating with negative people, where possible
Sometimes at work we are forced to work alongside people we really don’t like. The only solution I have for this is to choose not to spend more time than is necessary with them. You don’t have to be friends with everybody.
And when you do have to be around them, put on a smile and treat them in a friendly way. Rise above them. Act professionally. You know how the saying goes: sugar and spice and all things nice.
And if, for whatever reason, that doesn’t work for you, go back to tip number one on this list. And remember, their bad behavior isn’t actually about you.
4. Take care of yourself
Being physically run-down will only add to your stress.
So, take your vitamins, get your exercise, get enough sleep and prioritise your health. Oh, and drink enough water.
The power of water to heal our bodies is often overlooked. For a more in depth answer on why this is so important, check out “You’re not sick, you’re thirsty” by F. Batmanghelidj, M.D.
In particular, I personally take the vitamins B1 and potassium 30 minutes before bed, for a deep and restful night’s sleep. Getting a good night’s sleep makes it easier for any of us to confront and tackle any challenges that pop up throughout the day. When I have enough energy from a restful night’s sleep, I’m stress-free.
5. Find and follow your passions
Doing something with your life that makes you happy increases your personal strength to tackle stressful situations. If you’re constantly dancing to somebody else’s tune, and not your own – stress will single you out.
Find out what makes you happy in life and do more of that.
And conversely, find out what makes you unhappy and do less of that.
6. Start your day in a relaxed state
When I’m getting ready for work in the morning, I play ‘massage music’ from YouTube whilst I’m doing my make-up and getting ready.
Other times, if I’m very stressed out or I have a lot on my mind, I’ll run a bath. Even before work. I just get up 10 minutes earlier. I put a few drops of essential oils (for me, I find Rosemary and Lavender is best) into the bath, turn on my massage music, and soak for 5-minutes, just to relax.
I know none of us have a lot of time in the mornings, but I swear that whenever I do this, it feels like I went to a spa before I started my day.
So, it’s definitely worth setting your alarm 10 minutes earlier, when you really need it. It’s the best way I know to melt the stress away before your day gets going.
7. Turn off the TV and other devices
Devices can be distracting. Switching off from the stresses of work, by zoning out in front of the TV, can be great sometimes. But it’s not a long-term solution to stress.
Facing things head-on will always be a better answer. Disconnecting from your devices to live in the real world for a while can ground you and lower your stress levels by putting your attention outward, which leads me to my next tip.
8. Go for a walk
Thinking is never going to help you get rid of your stress. In fact, I think it increases it.
What I do when I’m most stressed is I go outside for a walk, looking at the things all around me. It takes my attention off of what’s troubling me inside.
I become very mindful of my present environment and nothing more. The stress just seems to melt away, and I realize just how beautiful the world around me really is.
After all, the people and problems that are stressing me out are not on the walk with me, unless I bring them along.
So I go out and find my calm. I stop and smell the roses… literally! And this works for me every time.
A lot of stress comes from our environment, especially from the people around us. This is very true. But, we have a lot more control over how stress affects us than we let ourselves believe. And we have the power to stop it dead in its tracks if we choose to do so.
Just by making a few simple changes to our habits and behavior, we can infuse “calmness” into our lives and bring about an increased level of happiness for ourselves and those around us.
